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Warum Du einfach mal die Tür zuknallen darfst und solltest

Kennst du das? Du bist so richtig wütend, und würdest am liebsten alles durch die Gegend werfen? Doch dann schaltet sich sofort Dein innerer Kritiker ein: „Stell dich nicht so an. Das ist doch total unangebracht!“ Und schon hast Du wieder Deine Gefühle unterdrückt. Wie Du lernst, Deinen Gefühlen Raum zu geben, und warum Du einfach mal die Tür zuknallen darfst und sogar solltest, erfährst Du jetzt!

Wenn ich so richtig wütend bin, knalle ich unglaublich gerne die Türe zu. Mein Mann mag das weniger. Mein großes Kind hat sich das schon von mir abgeguckt. Was soll ich sagen?

Ich bin einfach überzeugt davon, dass jedes Gefühl seinen Raum bekommen darf, und wenn dabei mal etwas zu Bruch geht oder aber eben die Tür laut knallt, dann ist es das halt so.

Was wäre denn die Alternative? Dass wir alles in uns reinfressen? Und immer so tun, als sei alles in bester Ordnung? Dass wir Gefühle unterdrücken? Keine gute Idee! Weißt Du, warum nicht?

Gefühle sind da. Wir dürfen sie zulassen. 

Ja, auch Wut, Frustration, Ärger. Auch diese gesellschaftlich wenig(er) tolerierten Gefühle dürfen sein. Und genau deshalb darfst du auch einfach mal die Tür zuknallen.

Klar gibt es eine Grenze: Wir sollten niemanden körperlich verletzen – weder uns selbst noch andere. Idealerweise sollten wir auch niemanden seelisch verletzen. Doch beides kann passieren. Ja, darüber spricht niemand. Warum eigentlich nicht?

Schau dir mal Kinder an, wenn sie lernen, mit ihren Gefühlen umzugehen.

Da ist dieses große Gefühl, das sie zu übermannen droht. Sie können es Null einordnen, spüren nur, dass ihre Welt nicht mehr in Ordnung ist und müssen es rauslassen.

Hast Du schon mal einen gescheiten Wutanfall bei einem zwei- oder dreijährigen Kind beobachtet? Das ist geballte Energie, die sich einen Weg nach draußen sucht: Da wird getobt, geschrien, geweint, getreten, gebissen, gehauen.

Ich halte das ja für sehr gesund.  

Klar ist es unsere Aufgabe als Eltern, diese Wutanfälle zu begleiten, die Wut in Bahnen zu lenken, vielleicht andere Ventile anzubieten. Ich bringe meinen Kindern bei, ins Sofa, aufs Bett oder Kissen zu boxen und laut zu schreien.

Ich bringe ihnen NICHT bei: ruhig zu sein, das Gefühl wegzudrücken, sich nicht so anzustellen etc.

Und genau so sollten wir das auch mit uns selbst handhaben:

Das Gefühl wahrnehmen, es zulassen und ausleben. Es ist ja da!

Was also sollten wir sonst damit tun? Es braucht gar nicht so lange, bis es durch unser System gerauscht ist. Und danach fühlen wir uns immer wie gereinigt, findest Du nicht? Und genau deshalb darfst Du auch einfach mal die Tür zuknallen!

Egal ob das Wut ist, Freude oder auch tiefe Traurigkeit. Das Türenknallen, das laute Lachen oder das hemmungslose Weinen sind Ventile, Ausdrucksformen unseres aktuellen Zustands.

Und damit sind wir bei der Selbstliebe. (Lerne hier, wie Du in 3 Schritten zu mehr Selbstliebe kommst.) Denn wenn das Gefühl einmal durchgerauscht ist durch unseren Körper und wir uns wieder fokussieren können, dann dürfen wir hinschauen, was da eigentlich los war.

Dabei helfen Dir diese Fragen:

    1. Wie geht‘s mir eigentlich?
    2. Wofür stand dieser Wutanfall?
    3. Was brauche ich gerade?

Diese Fragen richten die Aufmerksamkeit auf Dich, auf Dein Wohlbefinden.

Hier geht es nämlich nicht darum, Dich zu verurteilen, weil Du Dich nicht im Griff hattest. Sondern es geht darum, Zugang zu Deinem Inneren zu bekommen, zu verstehen, wie es Dir gerade geht, damit Du Dich um Dich kümmern kannst.

Vielleicht war es pure Überforderung, vielleicht Überanstrengung.

Oder vielleicht war es auch zu wenig Zeit für Dich? Vielleicht brauchst Du mal wieder einen weinseligen Abend mit Deiner Freundin, vielleicht ein heißes Bad, vielleicht ein Date mit Deinem Mann, vielleicht Sport?

Ich bin mittlerweile echt dankbar, dass ich es mir erlaube, so richtig wütend zu werden und die Wut auch rauszulassen. Und auch einfach mal die Tür zu zuknallen.

Habe ich früher nämlich nicht. Um Himmels Willen! Mir geht es aber so viel besser, seit ich „mein“ Ventil gefunden habe.

Und was mindestens genauso wichtig ist: Ich geißele mich danach nicht mehr selbst, von wegen: Wie konntest Du nur? Du müsstest Dich besser im Griff haben! Was lernen denn Deine Kinder von Dir? Gefühle sind zwar OK, aber Türenzuknallen muss nun echt nicht sein.

Kennst du diese innere Stimme auch?

Die Dir das Leben gerne mal schwermacht? Die Dir immerfort einreden will, Du seist nicht gut genug, nicht geduldig genug, nicht whatever genug?

Was wäre, wenn Du dieser inneren Stimme, wir Coaches nennen sie auch die innere Kritikerin, einfach nicht mehr so viel Raum geben würdest? Wie würdest Du Dich dann wohl fühlen, nachdem Du Deine Gefühle mal so richtig rausgelassen, und vielleicht auch einfach mal so richtig laut die Tür zugeknallt hast?

Stell dir mal vor…

…statt Schuld und Scham wäre dann einfach nur Ruhe und eine leise Freude, weil Du eben alles gefühlt hast und Dich nun wieder liebevoll Dir selbst, Deinen Kindern, Deinem Partner zuwenden kannst.

Weil Du Dir selbst Raum geschenkt hast. Statt dieser kritischen Nörgelstimme in Dir wäre da einfach nur Zufriedenheit. Herrlich, oder?!

Das kannst Du erreichen. Ja, wirklich!

Ich helfe Dir dabei. In meinem 6-wöchigen Einzelcoaching bekommst Du alles an die Hand, um mit solchen Situationen so viel besser umzugehen.

Und dann geht es Dir danach vielleicht so wie Sarah, die von ihrem Coaching mit mir sagt: „Ich bin absolut erleichtert und glücklich, gestärkt und voller Optimismus, mit einem imaginären Rucksack voller Werkzeuge für künftige Situationen und Herausforderungen.“

Ob mein Coaching gerade das richtig für dich ist…

…besprechen wir im Kennenlerngespräch.

Wir sprechen ausführlich über das, was Dich gerade so nervt oder belastet, und ich zeige Dir, wie ich Dich dabei unterstützen kann.

Also lass uns super gern sprechen:  oder buch Dir direkt hier Deinen Termin für unser 30-minütiges Kennenlerngespräch via Zoom.

Ich freue mich total, von Dir zu hören und Dich kennenzulernen!

 

Alles Liebe,

Deine Susanne

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